…but first let me take a selfie.

The Gym. The birth of bragging rights for many of laymen (and laywomen). As if through the law of state transfer… just being there will get you in shape. Unfortunately for them all the Nike tech gear and compression pants in the world will only leave you with a fat credit card bill (and rear end) if you don’t actually lift. Crazy concept, I know. Now for you seasoned bodybuilders we know this isn’t you. They have to pull you out of the gym, we get it. However, we’re sure you’ve seen quite a few characters that have provided entertainment with their bright reflective gear looking around in confusion. If you don’t know what we’re talking about this could possibly be you. Read on to find out the top 4 ways to tell you’re not actually working out at the gym.

The Supplements are making you fat

You see the thing about supplements like creatine and the extra intake of protein is that it works on the basis that you are moving your ass and actually working out your muscles. Coming into the gym and doing a couple bicep curls and then staring into the mirror, followed by a set of sitting on the bike machine and watching CNN does not constitute a workout. We know you feel good about when you’re drinking your workout shakes, we really do, but if you’re not using the stuff you put in you’re just producing very expensive urine. It’s easy to look like you’re a serious lifter by bragging about your supplement stack… but if you don’t actually LIFT hard you’re just wasting time and money.

Duck Face!

We know you’ve heard this one before but it bears repeating. First of all no self respecting man should be taking duck face selfies, period. However, what’s even more catastrophic is the amount of selfies being taking at the gym. We know your social media followers will start a mutiny if you don’t update them with the latest selfie every hour on the hour, especially in your brand new Lulu lemon sweatpants, but you’ve taken 20 selfies and you’ve been here 5 minutes – do a squat, pushup, pick a wedge…something! Just burn a damn calorie already! Oh, and the absolute worst? Taking selfies while you’re still on the machines. I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes bro – get on with it already.

You’ve Read The Whole Hunger Game Series

Reading is fundamental right? What could be the problem there? The problem is if the level of activity you’re performing at the gym is so low that you can comfortably digest the inner workings of a series of books you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough to get a real workout. Hey, maybe you live in a major city and the apartments are so small that the gym is like the living room you never had. If that’s the case, rock on, and next time bring some popcorn with extra butter and a hammock in case that bike seat gets too uncomfortable. But for the rest of us, put that book down and Move!

You’ve Contemplated Your Whole life From Puberty To Childhood between sets

The unexamined life is not worth living, I get it, I’m the reflective type. Sometimes the rest between sets is a little too good, combined with that euphoric feeling of lifting weights, you might pat yourself on the back a little early. However, these excuses don’t give you anymore gains than the guy over there on page 535 of the Hunger Game series. You’ve gotta make a specific time between sets and stick to it. Procrastination is mental masturbation. We don’t want you falling victim to the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s”, time is your most precious resource, spend it wisely. You need to be just as rigorous and focused during your rest periods as during your reps.

So are you actually working out in the gym? Or are you just pulling off these items above and making yourself feel better by simply having a gym membership and showing up from time to time? Maybe do yourself and everyone else in the gym a favor by actually using this as a wake up call. You already made the right choice by getting in a gym – so start taking it seriously!

What do you think of our list, got anything you’d like to add? Let us know in the comments below or hit us up on Facebook and Twitter. Stay pumped.